Coming to terms with my profession

Yikes. For those of us like me who are not yet sure if they want to teach after graduation, this "coming to terms" stuff is even tougher to try to articulate. To try to explain that, I will present the most abridged version of how I got here as I can. Since high school, I knew college was in my future. My favorite class was English. I was a reader and writer from basically day one. And when I wasn't doing homework, I was watching Golden Age films of the 1930s-50s. When it came to make the big decision, I wanted to major in film studies and go to a school like UCLA or USC. But for several reasons, my parents and I did not feel comfortable with doing that. So we decided getting an English Ed degree (with a Film Studies concentration) at MU was the best choice. At the time, and for the first two years here I thought that I was living "Plan B." But it took me until my junior year for God to get through to me to see that MU is exactly where I need to be. I am more open now to the idea of being a teacher, although I'm not sure yet if that is what I'm called to do. Going to grad school for film studies is another option, but I'm taking it a day at a time.

Okay, now that I've got that out of the way, I can share what I feel prepared for with becoming a teacher. For me, I hope to do achieve 3 main goals as a teacher: (1) develop/increase film and media literacy education in my classroom and in the nation, (2) develop students' communication and critical thinking skills through writing, and (3) inspire children to enjoy reading. While I can't say I'm "prepared" to achieve these goals, they are my focus. I do have a film background that some teachers do not have, and I hope to put it to good use. While I can write good well, (sorry, grammar joke) I struggle with knowing and explaining the "rules." Usually, I can revise a sentence and make it better, but I can't tell you the reasons/rationale for my edit.

Because of my "Plan B" mindset, I learned nearly nothing in Foundations bloc. I honestly didn't care at the time (although I really did enjoy my field placement experience). I was going through the motions (or should I say "doing school"?). But now I am trying to make time to review/re-learn the material. With that, I didn't pay too much attention in my English survey courses, and I feel that I would struggle teaching those time periods and texts. Somewhat unfortunately, I've had the typical White middle-class life. I know that I won't be teaching an all-white class. How do I relate and engage students who have completely different life experiences than me?

With that said, I need to accept my perceived inadequacies, and make a commitment to regularly learning about teaching, learning, students, etc. even after I graduate. Can I really "be ready for a classroom"? I'm not sure. But I can say that I will do my best.